In my work with patients and clients, I find that most folks go about their day avoiding their emotions and seldom ever take a stake in how their feelings influence their day-to-day choices. Feelings influence our decisions by altering our perceptions, attention, memory, reasoning, and problem-solving.  If you don’t think so, consider how your meal choices vary if you feel overwhelmed versus at ease.  How easy is it to start a difficult task when you feel self-conscious versus feeling capable? 

Emotions are not all bad … they serve a necessary role in our survival. The “right” emotions can motivate and push us to do things outside of our comfort zone. Conversely, the “wrong” emotions can make us feel insecure, leading us to unknowingly favor choices that boost feelings of happiness, reward, and satisfaction. 

I find that many people avoid or suppress their emotions, viewing them as a hindrance to decision-making and therefore undesirable.  These individuals incorrectly believe because they do not “feel”, their emotions won’t influence their choices. However, our decisions are informed by our emotional state, whether we know how we feel or not. Emotions condense experience and evaluate it to inform our decision so we can rapidly respond to any situation.  Emotions are communicating with our body and mind often below our level of awareness. This is very useful in life-or-death situations where speed takes precedence over nuance, but otherwise, it leads to misleading blind spots in our thought processes. Certain emotions can become roadblocks on our road to personal and professional growth. Whether it's stress, sadness, boredom, or anxiety, these emotions can trigger unhealthy eating habits and lifestyle choices, ultimately hindering our progress toward our goals - whether it be weight loss, cutting out sugar, or starting a new project.

Using the Feelings Wheel for Emotional Awareness

Enter the feelings wheel—a simple yet powerful tool for identifying and understanding your emotions. By identifying how you feel when you engage in undesired behaviors or avoid taking action, you can better understand how your feelings shape your behavior. You can’t change what you don’t know. Here's how to use the feelings wheel to break free from the cycle of unhealthy choices or lack of action. 

• Identify Your Primary Emotions (Center of the Wheel): What primary emotion(s) are you experiencing when you do (or don’t do) “X”?

• Identify Your Secondary Feelings (Middle & Outer Parts of the Wheel): Primary feelings can trigger secondary feelings. What secondary FEELINGS are you identifying?

• Identify Thoughts: Your Secondary Feelings are primarily based on the THOUGHTS you tell yourself about your situation at hand or the people involved. What thoughts or assumptions are you telling yourself that are triggering your secondary feelings?

• Connect Feelings to Choices:  Once you've identified your feelings, reflect on how they may be influencing your behaviors, particularly around eating and life choices. Are you reaching for comfort food when you're annoyed? Engaging in mindless eating when you're overwhelmed? Recognizing these patterns is the first step toward change.

• Identify Unmet Needs: Negative feelings are often stirred up by unmet needs. Do you have unmet NEEDs or EXPECTATIONS connected to the feelings you’re experiencing? What are they?

• Take Personal Responsibility/Action: What personal responsibility or actions will you take to meet or satisfy these needs?  What choices do you see yourself making/taking to meet your identified need? How do you think your emotions, feelings, and thoughts will be different when you take these steps?

• Identify Your Team: Perhaps you need assistance from another person(s) to meet your need(s). What “reasonable assistance” would you like to request from the other person(s)?  How do you think your emotions, feelings, and thoughts will be different if the other person partners with you to meet your need(s)?

This is a simplification of the overall process that I take clients and patients through. If you are having a hard time conceptualizing this, you are not alone.  Working though feelings can be tough work if you have never considered them before.  However, this tool along with my coaching and guidance has been truly transformative for many. 

Change Your Habits by Becoming Emotionally Aware

Taking control of your behaviors starts with cultivating greater emotional awareness. Rather than allowing your emotions to dictate your actions, you can learn to navigate them mindfully, making choices that align with your health and well-being goals. So, the next time you reach for that bag of chips or skip your workout out of stress or boredom, pause, consult the feelings wheel, and choose a path that empowers you to thrive emotionally and physically. Your body and mind will thank you for it.

If you are not already a client or patient but you want to learn more, email us at info@sohdpc.com to set up a free “Meet & Greet”.